Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship — but what happens when that foundation cracks?
Learning how to rebuild trust in a relationship requires patience, transparency, and mutual effort. It’s not just about moving past the hurt but about establishing a new foundation for the relationship — one that prioritizes honesty, communication, emotional security, and deeper intimacy. The process won’t happen overnight, but with effort, understanding, and commitment on both sides, it’s possible to move forward together.
Can a Relationship Recover From a Lack of Trust?
Yes, a relationship can recover from broken trust, but it requires patience, honesty, and a willingness to confront the underlying trust issues in a relationship head-on. Understanding how to gain trust back in a relationship starts with both partners committing to the healing process. A key part of this journey is making sure both partners feel heard, seen, and valued. The betrayed partner may feel anger, sadness, or insecurity in the relationship, while the offending partner may struggle with guilt and the fear of not being forgiven. Acknowledging and validating both partner’s emotions is a crucial piece in gaining trust back in a relationship.
10 Effective Ways to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship
1. Get to the root of why trust was broken
Trust is fragile, and when it’s broken, it often stems from deep-rooted relationship issues, such as infidelity, dishonesty, lack of communication, emotional neglect, or withdrawal. For example, discovering a partner has secretly been texting an ex — even if nothing happened — can still feel like a betrayal. Likewise, repeatedly making promises but failing to follow through, like missing date nights or avoiding difficult conversations, can create emotional distance.
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Open and honest conversations lay the foundation for moving forward. The partner who broke trust must acknowledge their actions and take responsibility for the hurt they caused. Meanwhile, the partner who feels betrayed should reflect on their emotions and determine what they need to heal. More often than not, there are feelings of hurt and betrayal on both sides and recognizing the emotional impact on both partners can be the first step toward healing.
2. Take responsibility & apologize genuinely
A sincere and genuine apology is key in mending broken trust. It requires taking full responsibility for your actions without deflecting blame or making excuses. A good apology generally has three parts: acknowledging the hurt caused, expressing remorse, and committing to change.
“One of the most important steps to healing a relationship with broken trust is the violator’s ability to apologize, show remorse, and patiently allow their partner to heal from the violation. This means the partner needs to own up to the infraction and work to regain trust and forgiveness.”
A bad apology can do more harm than not apologizing at all, often leading to more fights in the relationship. Avoid vague or dismissive statements like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” which shift the focus away from personal accountability. Instead, take ownership of your actions by saying, “I regret my actions and understand how much pain they caused you. I am committed to making things right and doing better in the future.”
Apologizing isn’t about managing the other person’s feelings — it’s about acknowledging and correcting your behavior. A genuine apology helps rebuild trust, while a weak one can make the pain even worse.
3. Establish transparent communication
Learning how to regain trust in a relationship starts with clear and open communication. Both partners should feel safe expressing their concerns, feelings, and needs without fear of judgment. Transparency means openly discussing your emotions, setting healthy boundaries, and sharing information willingly. If trust was broken due to secrecy or deception, communicating better in a relationship becomes even more critical.
4. Commit to consistency over time
Rebuilding trust in a relationship takes time, and consistency is key. It’s about showing up every day in ways that make your partner feel safe and valued. If you’ve broken your partner’s trust in the past, commit to demonstrating trustworthiness going forward by keeping your promises, following through on commitments, and maintaining honesty in all aspects of your relationship.
When working on how to reestablish trust in a relationship, couples therapists often use a strategy called positive reinforcement. This entails acknowledging and appreciating your partner’s efforts rather than only pointing out failures. For example, if your partner is making an effort to be more open, expressing gratitude can encourage continued honesty. Reliable actions — like following through on commitments, being emotionally available, and communicating clearly — are small but significant steps in rebuilding trust and strengthening your relationship.
5. Rebuild emotional intimacy through vulnerability
Cultivating emotional intimacy after a breach of trust takes more than just saying the right words — it’s about creating a space where both of you feel safe enough to be real with each other again. Vulnerability can feel scary, but it’s one of the most powerful ways to reconnect.
Share how your day went, talk about your feelings, or revisit an inside joke that once made you laugh together. Physical touch — like holding hands or cuddling — can help you rediscover physical and emotional closeness at the same time. If opening up feels awkward or difficult, consider journaling together or using conversation starters to ease into deeper discussions.
Rebuilding emotional intimacy is about showing your partner that they matter. Listen without judgment, validate their feelings, and be patient. Through everyday moments of genuine connection, the foundation of your relationship will continue to get stronger.
6. Engage in shared rituals or activities
When it comes to building trust back in a relationship, you might be relieved to hear that creating new, positive experiences together can be just as meaningful as serious conversations. Shared rituals and activities can help strengthen your bond, fostering a sense of partnership and teamwork. Studies show that couples who engage in shared activities experience greater relationship satisfaction and emotional intimacy.
Try something new together, like signing up for a cooking class, joining a recreational sports league, or taking a trip to explore a new city. Even small additions to your routine, like a morning coffee ritual or an evening walk, can reinforce a sense of connection and provide an opportunity to share more moments of vulnerability.
7. Seek professional help, such as couples therapy
If you and your partner feel unsure how to recover trust in a relationship on your own, finding a guide to help navigate the process can help tremendously. A licensed therapist can help you untangle the emotions that come with broken trust, improve communication, and teach you practical couples therapy techniques for how to reconnect. Platforms like Talkspace offer affordable, flexible options for online couples therapy — a perfect place to start for couples that just need a little extra guidance on how to heal and grow together.
“A counselor can help by interpreting and mediating the interactions so that the couple can stay focused on the issues and not allow emotions to take over. There’s still time and healing that needs to occur and boundaries that need to be set. It is a challenge, but it can be done.”
Think of therapy as an investment in your relationship. Just like going to the gym strengthens your body, therapy can help strengthen your emotional connection, helping you rebuild trust and rediscover why you chose each other in the first place.
8. Reaffirm your commitment regularly
Regular reassurance can go a long way in making your partner feel safe and valued again. Make it a habit to express appreciation and affection — whether it’s a simple and heartfelt “I love you” or a thoughtful gesture like leaving a sweet note before they leave for work in the morning. Show up when you say you will, keep your promises, and follow through on commitments, no matter how small.
9. Allow time and space for healing
While trust can be broken in an instant, rebuilding it takes time — sometimes months or even years. It’s okay if things feel messy or uncertain at times. What’s important is allowing time for emotions to be processed without pressuring each other to “move on” too quickly. True healing comes from patience, consistency, and a willingness to work through difficult moments together.
Give each other grace and space. Some days will feel like progress, while others may feel like setbacks — that’s normal. Respect each other’s individual healing timelines. If your partner needs more time to rebuild confidence in the relationship, honor that.
10. Learn to forgive and move forward
Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting what happened or pretending the pain isn’t real — it’s about choosing to let go of resentment so healing can begin. Holding onto anger in a relationship can create distance, but choosing to work toward forgiveness allows more space for growth and a new chapter.
If you’re struggling to forgive, start with small steps. Acknowledge your pain, but also recognize the efforts your partner is making to rebuild your trust. On the other hand, if you’re the one seeking forgiveness, be patient and show through consistent actions that you’re committed to improvement. Neither trust nor forgiveness happens overnight, but with time and effort, both are possible.
Rebuilding the Foundation of Your Relationship
Rebuilding trust in relationships is an ongoing journey that requires dedication, communication, and patience. By taking responsibility, committing to consistency, and practicing vulnerability, you can move past betrayal and rebuild a foundation of trust with your partner.
It’s important to remember that trust doesn’t return overnight. It’s a daily effort and, at times, it can feel like an uphill battle. If you and your partner are struggling with how to recover trust in a relationship, professional help is available. Talkspace offers access to licensed therapists who specialize in relationship issues, making online couples therapy more convenient than ever. With guidance and expert relationship advice, it’s possible to restore trust and work toward a resilient, loving relationship.