Since the pandemic began, eating disorders have been on the rise and that is heart-wrenching for me to hear. Having suffered from anorexia for 25 years (from my mid-twenties until I was 50), I know the intense grip that this eating disorder can have on a woman’s mind and body. Recovery must take place on two levels—physical and emotional. I have lasting scars from both.
Anorexia is not glamorous: You are always cold, you may grow a fine layer of hair all over your body, you lose your period, your hair starts to fall out, you might have digestive issues, and your bones start to thin, among other possible symptoms.
I’ve had multiple stress fractures due to osteoporosis, and I have gut motility issues due to laxative abuse. The worst—and irreversible—consequence of my protracted and severe course of anorexia is the loss of all my teeth. Teeth are bone and my extreme and prolonged malnutrition wore down the bone until mine started to crumble. I’ve been wearing a full set of dentures since I was 55.
The emotional piece of recovery has been an ongoing struggle. I don’t count calories today, but I do find myself thinking twice before I eat a dessert and more often than not, I’ll “split” it with someone and take only a bite or two.
Anorexia nervosa carries a lifetime prevalence of up to 4% among females and 0.3% among males. Bulimia affects up to 3% of females and over 1% of males over their lifetimes. Binge eating disorder affects an estimated 3.5% of women and 2% of men, but affects 30-40% of those seeking weight loss treatment. According to the National Alliance for Eating Disorders, “Though eating disorders can affect people of all ages, there is a higher prevalence observed among young adults. By early adulthood, between 5.5% and 17.9% of young women and 0.6% to 2.4% of young men will have been diagnosed with a clinically-significant eating disorder.”
Two recent, but quite different, articles in the New York Times inspired me to write this post. They were quite different. One, from the paper’s popular “Modern Love” series, is a memoir by a woman with an eating disorder about going on a date that involves a meal, and it captures the mindset of someone with anorexia well. The other, an article titled “Why Ultrathin Is In,” is more alarming. It reports on the decrease of midsized and plus-sized models in the fashion industry and the upswing in the use of underweight models: “The issue is not simply that there are fewer curve models on the runway; the thin models seem to be getting thinner. Even in a world that has long prized the idea of bodies as coat hangers, there were more visible rib cages, jutting collarbones and daisy chains of vertebrae than have been seen since the concept of BMI and model health was introduced by the Council of Fashion Designers of America in 2012. Given the documented connection between social media and eating disorders, especially among young people—and the way runway shows have become a mass form of public entertainment—such images have potentially dangerous repercussions.”
What has helped me recover? Understanding that I can’t do all that I want or need to do and be active in my eating disorder. My priorities have shifted to work, writing, and teaching. That realization didn’t happen overnight; it took years of therapy, and it’s a way of living I need to reinforce with myself regularly.
Recent alarming data from several European countries2 show a remarkable increase in eating disorders of ≤40% in the 6-to-18-year-old population since the beginning of the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. Similarly, a significant increase in eating disorders in children and adolescents has been observed recently in the U.S.
Effective treatment remains elusive. I was fortunate to receive extensive treatment for my eating disorder which included multiple inpatient hospitalizations when my weight dropped dangerously low, and follow-up treatment at the PHP, IOP, and outpatient level. I was also able to work with a wonderful nutritionist who specialized in eating disorders. Another study found that “only about 20% of individuals with eating disorders receive treatment, and financial barriers were the most significant impediment to accessing treatment among individuals seeking eating disorder treatment.”
Finally, at 64, I’m able to give myself and my body some grace.